I went to the Doctor yesterday

It wasn't what I initially hoped for. I wanted her to say "Yes I would love to work with a Monatrice and we should try everything in our power to help you have a natural birth. There aren't any real potential risks so we have nothing to lose!" What she firmly said was more along the lines of " Absolutely not. I don't know of any Doctor in the area that would risk that with you." She also proceeded to tell me that I hardly have any cervix left and the scar tissue that is there, is most likely helping me to carry the baby. I know that every Doctor is different and has their own opinion. I know of another Doctor in Denton who might work with me. The thing is, I called the office before I made the appointment to ask if she would do a double v-back and the person who answered the phone led me on. So I wasn't exactly expecting this from this Doctor. However, while she was standing her position I felt like it was O.K. I felt like something was telling me, pushing me to do it. And it wasn't the Doc. I kept hearing " Its o.k. Christy. This is what you should do and everything is going to be fine." That obviously is not what I expected. It was a gentle voice. Very comforting. So, I am sorting out my thoughts and praying a lot.

In the meantime, I also thought that for a third baby, It would all be mundane and repetitive. It was anything but that. Baby Micah was very active and it was so precious to see its little arms flapping and its little legs kicking. I instantly fell in love. We made that. This little person growing inside me is my personal gift from God.

UGGH. The pap smear was awful. I hate getting pap smears. That little speculum(?) always pinches me. And the scraping on my cervix, doesn't feel good. I also had to get my blood work done. So after three hours of driving, and three hours of Doctor visit, I was exhausted! Memaw watched the boys for me. That was a blessing, and accounted for some of the driving. In the end, knowing that there really is a baby living and growing in there is full of so much more than pleasure. 10 more weeks and we will know if this baby is a boy or a girl. Have a guess?