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What to do? What to do? I don't want to bore you with the details of the crap in my life right now because you probably have your own crap! I am such a drag right now. My sweet husband is trying so hard to make me happy. It mostly works. I have a potential job change coming up. I struggle with letting people down pretty often. This potential job is in the line of faux finishing which most of you know is what I've wanted to do for a long time. I feel like it is O.K. to let go of the twins I'm watching to pursue my dream job. But I would also have to let go of my own children. This is a struggle for me considering the most fond memories I have of my mother are from when she stayed home with me before I started school. I also struggle with the fact that my heart lives in nature, in the mountains. If I ever got there, I would have to give up my dream job anyway, for another dream. Does that make it O.K. ? I wonder what God is up to? I know he is in all this. Then there is the unspoken war of my divorced In-Laws. No, No, No, they aren't at war. I am. Andy has two families. Well, four now. When we visit or talk on the phone, Andy and I both wish we could live where-ever the person we are talking to, lives. So the answer seems to be (not to go to either place because) we can't be both places at once. I also don't know if I should put Ben in M.O.P.S. next year. I feel funny about sending them to daycare before they can talk. I need to just throw myself into prayer and stay there.